I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
