you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
send nudes
from the living room?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
