Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Randomize
