Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
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