I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
If I die, sorry about rent.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize