how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Randomize
