Moan for me like Helen Keller
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
