the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
