When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
