he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
