I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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