You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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