I wannas sexs uuuuu
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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