our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
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