have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
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