There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
