I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I think people are normalizing furries
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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