i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
