It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I am spending my child support on dildos
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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