Why are handjobs necessary in class?
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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