ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
