dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
ttyl tear gas
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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