Farmville is her only friend.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
