she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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