Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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