he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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