O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
