If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
worst night to have a conscience
Reggie can tackle my bush.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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