Why are handjobs necessary in class?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Randomize
