We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
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