i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Randomize
