I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Dick very happy bro
I would fuck him just for his dog
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
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