alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
