I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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