a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
