I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Reggie can tackle my bush.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
