Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
