Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Princesses don't give blow jobs
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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