i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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