wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Drunk is not a location!
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
