I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
