You work out of a Hotel?
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
