she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
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