dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
