i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
So much rum. So many feels.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
