were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
