just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
