My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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