Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
