apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
