you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Randomize
