He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
