New invention idea: vibrating tampons
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
