You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
