We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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