i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
