i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
