thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
