Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
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