My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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