why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
