if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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